Down the Rabbit Hole
by Marla-the-tourist
Summary: Jason returns home, but can he really leave behind him all that happened at the island? Can he forget what it is like to look insanity in the eyes? What if insanity looks back?


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to Far Cry or Alice in Wonderland

**A/N**: Far Cry 3 ending left me kind of wanting… what happened to Jason and others afterwards? Did they make it back and return to their daily lives as if nothing happened? I don't think so…

Also a warning to those who haven't finished the game: Read at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

For now it's one-shot.

* * *

"_Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was going to happen next." _

_Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland_

_._

"Jason, we're going to check out that new club on Ocean Avenue. You with us?" Oliver asked, keeping his face purposefully neutral. He already suspected what the answer would be, but that didn't mean that he'll stop trying.

Liza perked up at the question, her gaze turned towards Jason with a flicker of hope in her eyes, but she dared not to speak up. Things weren't exactly smooth between them ever since that time on the island. No, maybe even before that cursed vacation. She knew the moment she would voice her opinion, her ex-boyfriend would be put on defensive. He was always so angry lately... so close to the edge. Sometimes she was really scared of him. It was one of the reasons she moved out. Well, there was also the whole break up thing, of course, but still she believed… hoped that it was only a matter of time and her old Jason would be back.

But for now, there was this stranger in his place. A stranger that looked almost bothered that he had to spend time with them, as if he was hanging out with them only as some kind of obligation or something.

"So what do you think, you coming?" Oliver finished lighting up a joint and asked again.

Liza flashed him a grateful smile for still trying to include Jason to their inner circle of friends. Daisy had given up a long ago, just ignoring Jason most of the time. Even now, she was staring at her iPhone, as if she suddenly discovered some new application she had to try out this moment.

And Keith? Well, Keith was a whole new matter. Ever since that vacation he also managed to be quite antisocial from time to time. Like today. Today he didn't say anything and continued eating his hamburger and sporadically looking around the restaurant carefully as if he was expecting for pirates to show up at the entrance any minute.

Jason looked at Ollie's and Liza's hopeful gazes and grimaced. He knew that he was no fun these days. No, he was no fun ever since that _incident on the island_ as his friends liked to call it. But he couldn't help it. He felt like this wasn't his life anymore, like he was just borrowing someone else's body or living a life of Jason Brody from alternate universe or something.

He tried at first. After they buried Grant and once they mourned enough, the others seemed to slowly get back to their lives. It seemed so easy for them to get back to their tracks. Jason tried to pick up pieces and get back to his life, too. He tried to go party with them… to drink, dance, and do crazy stuff, but he found no joy in it anymore. Soon, he couldn't even pretend anymore that he was having fun and started avoiding them more or less.

Nowadays, he joined his friends here and there only for some short outing on the weekend nights, mostly to check if everything was okay with them, because no matter what, he would always feel protective towards them. But that was it. After a few hours he would leave and let them do their _fun_ stuff without him. He was not really interested anymore.

"No sorry, Ollie. I think I'll pass this one." Jason answered tiredly. Didn't they get it that he was no longer a party maniac he used to be?

As expected Liza and his best friend looked quite deflated. Daisy just snorted yet didn't offer any comment. Lately, she was always ticked with him. Jason smiled sympathetically, he didn't blame her. He knew he was being an ass lately. He must be the worst friend in the world, or very close to it.

"That's okay, bro. Maybe next time." Oliver patted his shoulder, his expression understanding.

Jason nodded gratefully. He will always like Oliver. He was a bit of a pothead, but still the greatest friend one could wish for. He was like another brother to him. Even now, Ollie was still hanging around their house to make sure that Mrs. Brody knew that even after losing Grant, she still had three other sons who love her. Jason was really grateful for that. Especially, since he himself was such a crappy son lately.

Jason slowly finished his cola and stood up. "Alright, time for me to head out. See you, guys."

Oliver nodded and Liza came closer to hug him goodbye, her small hands felt warm around his shoulders. As usual she avoided even looking at his tattoo's as if she thought it was the source of all evil that took her old Jason away. "Call me, okay?" She smiled at him, her blue eyes flickering with uncertainty...

"And about that number I gave you, will you at least try to call them? Please do it, if not for yourself then at least it for me." She looked at him pleadingly, her face close to his as was her habit.

Jason shrugged but didn't offer any reply. He felt a spike of anger rise inside him again but he quickly quenched it because he refused to repeat the argument from the last week. You see the problem was Liza wanted him to call and make an appointment with some renowned shrink. As if. What would he even say to her?

…_Hey doc, you see on our last vacation me and my friends had been enslaved by pirates and after I managed to escape I kind of killed a hundreds of men in order to save my friends. I shot them, gutted them with knife… hunted them like animals. And the best part is… I really enjoyed it. Now, that I am back in civilization I kind of miss it. Miss the feeling of blood on my hands. Miss the thrill…_

…Yeah, like that would fly with anyone. They would lock him up in no time. Screw the doctor-patient confidentiality. But more importantly, that is something he didn't even admit to his friends. He couldn't stand it if they started looking at him like he was some kind of psycho that enjoys killing. Sometimes he had a feeling like they already do…

"Sorry guys but I'll be going, too." Keith also stood up, earning a few protest from others. But it was more than clear to them that Keith's mind wasn't set on any entertainment tonight and they let him go without any hardships.

_So unfair to let Keith go so easily, yet they couldn't get off his back._ Jason nearly said aloud but quickly scolded himself for that thought. His friends didn't know what Keith really went through. They probably thought his occasional moodiness was completely unrelated to the Rook Island, but Jason knew better. Keith still hasn't come to terms with what happened to him. Sometimes he hid it well and acted like his usual overconfident self, but there were days like today when he would just sit a little too quietly and just look around nervously.

As they walked towards the exit Jason glanced at Keith uncertainly. "You okay, man?"

"Yeah, just tired." He smiled, but Jason could see behind the pretense.

He had a suspicion that Keith never really told anyone else about the rape and that made Jason the only person his friend could talk to. But Keith never did. Jason didn't know how to help him, he was no therapist, but he was sure that at least talking about it would help. Maybe if Jason tried enough, his friend would eventually open up to him.

Maybe it was time to try again... Jason decided.

Once they were outside, he put his hand over Keith's shoulders, partly as a friendly gesture and partly as an attempt to slow his friend's quick pace. Jason felt the other's body tense considerably and released his hold on him quickly… _Good job, Jason, starting conversation with someone who has been physically abused by being overly physical yourself_. He sighed. Not the greatest start but...

"Keith, you know you can talk to me about anything, right? If you need someone to talk to, I'll be there, you hear me? Day or night, I don't care, if you need someone, call me." Jason made sure to maintain the eye contact.

Keith looked surprised at first almost startled and it seemed that he would reject Jason's offer once again, but slowly his expression turned into a gentler one. He even offered a small smile. A _real_ smile. The kind Jason hadn't seen on his face for months. At that moment he knew he did the right thing.

"Thanks, Jason. Maybe I will sometime." Keith said quietly. He turned to get into his expensive sport car, but stopped for a moment and glanced back at Jason. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but seemed to change his mind and with a quick _"thanks and see ya,"_ he finally got into his car and drove away with a loud screeching sound.

It was a very small progress, but a progress none the less and Jason was glad. At least the whole day today didn't suck that much. He was so glad he might even go to have a little celebratory drink before heading to his empty apartment. And when he said empty apartment, he meant literally empty. When Liza moved out she took all her furniture and all he was left with was a bed, table and some kitchen stuff like fridge and so.

Jason headed to the bar that was not very far from his home. It was a little bit of a dive, but it was a perfect place if one wanted to enjoy good drink without the danger of meeting any of their acquaintances who might bother them with small talk or worse.

_"Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?" A very familiar face appeared in front of him, eyes blazed with madness. _

"_Insanity is doing the exact same fucking thing over and over again expecting shit to change... That is crazy. The first time somebody told me that, I dunno, I thought he was bullshitting me, so, I shot him. The thing is... He was right. And then I started seeing, everywhere I looked, everywhere I looked all these fucking pricks, everywhere I looked, doing the exact same fucking thing... over and over and over and over again thinking 'this time is gonna be different'… no, no, no please... This time is gonna be different…" _

_Jason glance__d down. As suspected, his hands had been tied and bound to the large, heavy boulder, his legs seemed bound too, but Jason didn't have much time to look around. Too soon he heard a loud crash as Vaas had kicked the crate angrily and started pacing like a dangerous mad tiger._

"…_I'm sorry, I don't like... The way... you are looking at me... Okay. Do you have a fucking problem in your head, do you think I am bullshitting you, do you think I am lying? Fuck you! Okay? Fuck you!" _

_Vaas stopped shouting and took deep breath. "It's okay, man. I'm gonna chill, hermano. I'm gonna chill... The thing is... Alright, the thing is I killed you once already... and it's not like I am fucking crazy. It's okay... It's like water under the bridge... _

_...Did I ever tell you the definition... of insanity?"_

_Vaas' face disappeared from his view as the pirate stood up but Jason's gaze followed him. A sudden feel of dread washed over him as he saw the madman nearing the large boulder Jason had been tied to. With a devilish grin Vaas kicked the boulder down the cliff._

_Everything after that was one quick blur. Jason felt a strong tug in his bounds, his back scrapping against the rocky surface, before he found himself airborne. The last image he saw before hitting the water was Vaas' face looking down at him from the top of the cliff, smiling like a Cheshire cat. His gaze triumphant yet clouded with insanity…_

_Jason was suffocating… he tried to free from his bounds… again …. and again, but they refused to bulge. There was almost no air in his lungs left and a bright spots started clouding his vision. Just as he was about to give up, he felt it. Something in the knot came loose. A new hope gave him strength and Jason started struggling agin with a vehemence until he managed to free himself completely._

_Now he should be able to swim towards the surface pretty easily but… as Jason looked up, he realized that this wasn't the same blue sea anymore. The sunlight from outside had been blocked by hundreds of dead bodies that floated above him. Where did they come from? Jason wondered yet he recognized those corpses. They were the pirates he killed. All of them. He tried to swim through them, tried to reach the surface, but it was getting harder and harder as more and more bodies appeared around him as if trying to crush him… Jason almost climbed through the corpses, trying to reach the surface. The water around him turned to dark crimson...turned to blood, still fresh and warm. Jason was more than ready to start panicking but he could still see a ray of light above him and his movements became hastier, more frantic. _

_Finally, he broke the surface and took a deep breath… yet, just as he looked around, trying to find a shore, he saw it. A very familiar body floated not too far from him. It was his brother_ _Grant!_ _Jason grabbed him quickly turning him around. But as expected, Grant was already dead, his body cold to touch, his eyes open but unseeing. The light left them long ago. Jason couldn't look at him anymore. He felt like __once again_ he failed to save his brother. 

_He turned around, more than ready to swim to the shore when, suddenly, someone grabbed him. Strong hands gripping his shoulders. Jason nearly choked on the bloody water. There was no one alive in the water as far as he knew… so who was holding him? He was almost scared to turn around and see… but the hand refused to let go of him and then, he heard it…_

"_Jason." A familiar voice called his name. There was no doubt about it. It was Grant's voice, deeper than Jason remembered, but still his brother's. _

_Jason turned slowly around, his heart in his mouth, his eyes wide with fear of what he might see behind. He felt almost relieved that Grant looked as dead as before. But too soon he realized that there was something odd about his brother, his eyes weren't unseeing anymore, they were looking at him, cold and dead, but looking at him steadily. Then his mouth opened and…_

"_Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?"_

Jason woke up with a scream, his whole body soaked in sweat. An image of his dead brother still very vivid in his mind. He had that dream again…

He looked at the clock, it was three a.m. That was odd. The last thing Jason remembered was ordering a second drink at the bar. And now he was here, lying in his bed, recovering from this fucking nightmare. How exactly did he get back home and why doesn't he remember it?

Jason shrugged, he had no idea. But one thing was certain. He certainly didn't feel like sleeping anymore. He didn't want to risk having that dream again, so he decided a shower might be better idea. Though, even after he freshened up Jason didn't feel any less like sleeping than before. Looking at the clock, it was a little over three thirty. _Great, only half an hour had passed._ Maybe a walk then.

On his way out, just when Jason opted not to take a jacket since the nights here were still warm enough, he noticed that he had some messages on his phone. He pressed the green play button and his mother's voice filled his apartment.

"Jase, honey, don't forget its Riley's birthday tomorrow. I'm sure Oliver already told you about the party he was planning for him tomorrow night, but before that I was hoping we could have a dinner, you know… just us, family. I'm sure more than any presents Riley would love to spend some time together with his brother. He loves you, we both do. So… come back for a while, okay honey?"

Jason sighed. As if the nightmare wasn't enough, he felt even more like crap now. He was avoiding his family and he knew they noticed. It was just the way his mother looked at him… Like there was something wrong with him, something that needed to be fixed.

And Riley? Well, Riley was the same amazing brother as before and_ that_ was the problem. He didn't blame Jason for the torture. He didn't even hold it against him and maybe he really meant it, but it was Jason who, whenever he looked at his brother's face, he saw it covered in blood and scrunched in pain that he himself caused. Jason couldn't forgive himself for that. Just why did he torture Riley? There was no reason for that, except that he wanted to earn Hoyt's trust in attempt to get close to him and kill him. He could have just refused to do it and find another way to get to Hoyt, but no, he was too blood thirsty, too single-minded. His mind had been set on one goal only - to kill a man and for that he was willing to torture even his own brother… The truth was, whenever Jason looked and Riley, he was reminded what a monster he himself had become.

Anyway, the message continued, intercepting Jason's thoughts: "Oh, and before I forget, I talked with Liza about that specialist. I'm sure she told you already, but I really think you should try to call her. Riley has been going there too and it really helped him, so-"

Jason punched the phone with a fist to shut it up, nearly breaking the machine. His depressing thoughts replaced by anger in no time. God fucking dammit, he suspected that Liza and his mother had been behind that shrink thing together. When will they all finally get off his back?

_Okay, it's walk and a drink then_… Jason decided, slamming the door behind him.

He walked around a few blocks to cool his head. At this hour the only people he met were drunkards trying to crawl back home and some gang members. They seemed to be local drug dealers… just a small fries. Jason glared at them as he passed them, almost wishing for them to start a fight so he would have an excuse to beat someone to a pulp. But they never did, only scowling back. As if they could sense that it's better not to begin anything with this man.

A few more blocks of aimless walking around and Jason opted for the bar once again. Thank god that place was open nonstop. The barman looked up with a "_you again_" and automatically poured him the same as if Jason never left. The moment he sat down he noticed a couple of police officers leaving the place. The only other guests were a bunch of old bikers playing a billiard in the corner and some skinny, shaggy dude passed out in one of the booths.

"What's with the cops?" Jason asked the bartender.

"Oh, them? They were just asking some questions. Apparently, there was a murder only a few blocks from here and they are circling local clubs that are still open and asking if anyone saw anything suspicious." The old man grunted, apparently not really interested in the topic. He was working as a bartender for too long to let such things really bother him. Especially in this part of town. He shrugged and walked away to bring the biker _gentlemen_ their bears.

Enjoying his glass, Jason couldn't stop wondering about that murder. Like a sense of _Déjà vu._ Thinking he would like to know more, Jason looked up at the TV above the bar hoping the local news were on. Maybe they'll broadcast something about it.

Suddenly, he felt it. A sensation of somebody standing behind him. For some reason he was strongly reminded of that nightmare and it was the same feeling that kept him from turning around. Then, that somebody said quietly.

"That's a nice fucking ink you have there, California boy."

_That voice_. Jason'll never forget that voice in his life. He was on his feet in that instant, his chair falling to the ground. He looked around frantically, but there was no one behind him. In the corner of his eyes he noticed an entrance door closing and a shadow of a very familiar figure with a Mohawk hairstyle disappearing behind it.

Jason ran behind the man, almost kicking the door open in his haste but it was all for nothing. He didn't see anyone around, just an empty car park. Was it just his imagination? It couldn't be... could it?


End file.
